Reach out, talk to people

A few weeks ago, my partner and I were walking the dogs late in the afternoon and on the way back, in this big field, we noticed an elderly woman walking slowly leaning on her stick. We asked if she was ok as she seemed tentative and a little confused. The very first thing she said, almost without realising that's what she was going to say was:

You are the first people I've spoken to all day.

Neither of us expected that so we stayed with her, chatting away for about 40 minutes. We ended up walking her back to her house, exchange numbers and invite her for a Sunday roast. She was going to be 89 a few days later and it seemed a nice thing to do. She was really touched as she didn't have it in her to cook a roast for herself (as she admitted she hated cooking).

A few days went by and on a different walk with the dogs, this time on another part of town along the river, the same happened with another elderly woman in her 70s. Again we ended up chatting for a while and we decided to invite her as well. The more the merrier, why not. 

Finally, we all met at ours and we had a Sunday roast. My partner did an amazing job, I should add, cooking lamb (we asked them in advance for their favourite meat), roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, vegetables, a proper gravy with succulent bits in it... and teas and biscuits afterwards. We talked for hours (4 pm to 10 pm). Our puppies behaved and received lots of cuddles and praise. It was all so natural as we all seemed to find things in common. But to be honest it was amazing just to hear the varied lives people have lived. So many facets and experiences, some good some bad. In the end, you could tell they'd had a very good time, and enjoyed something different offered by perfect strangers. And we did too, we now feel enriched by their stories and company.

I've come to understand that there are too many people out there suffering from loneliness.

Loneliness' effects on physical and mental health are as bad as the effects of smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and it's worse than obesity. It can cause dementia, heart disease, and depression. It increases the risk of death by 29%. In the UK there are at least 1.2m lonely elderly people. Half of those go up to 6 days without speaking to anyone. That's also because half of over 75s live alone. These figures (from campaigntoendloneliness.org), are staggering. But unlike many other causes of death and poor health, this can be tackled with compassion and simple gestures, just by reaching out and listen. In the time of the Coronavirus lockdown, these people have been even more isolated for logistical and safety reasons.

If you see someone looking a bit lost, ask how they are. Don't be afraid of striking a conversation with a stranger, people don't bite. We are all aiming at getting old but nobody signs up for loneliness.